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@Sorrowscopes : Aries: You will be visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They're all married, so don't even ask.
@Sorrowscopes: Scorpio: Are you really gonna trust NASA? After they left Matt Damon on Mars? Who does that?
@Sorrowscopes: Leo: You will unwrap a package of Pop Tarts and none of the corners will have fallen off. This is how you will know you died in your sleep.
@Sorrowscopes: Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face.
@Sorrowscopes: Libra: You wake up fastened to a wooden stake. People in goat masks are dancing around a bonfire. We'll be honest. Things don’t look good.