Funny Tweeter

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Page of SortaBad's best tweets

@SortaBad : Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it'd be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?

@SortaBad: "Click to read this man's secret to incredible 6 pack abs!"
*click*
article: hard work, diet, & exercise
me: I have never felt more betrayed

@SortaBad: Commercial for Twitter:

"Are you tired of arguing with people you actually know?"

@SortaBad: Roses are red
Violets are blue
Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin
I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser

@SortaBad: Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea?
"I'm not. that. innocent."
*frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*

@SortaBad: John: There are places...

Paul: I remember

George: All my life, though...

Ringo: How can antibiotics and pro-biotics both be good for you

@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast"
*sees a buffet just full of ice cubes*
"What the..."
Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica

@SortaBad: me: good morning, Linda

Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice

@SortaBad: Sometimes at the airport I'll ask a stranger if they have an iphone charger and if they do I take mine out and say "nice, me too"

@SortaBad: [babysitting]
Ok well sorry I threw all your kid's toys into the ocean but maybe next time be more clear if you suggest we have a tea party