@Spaced_Cowboy00: Me when I’m high: I’ll take seven burritos.
Me when I’m not high: I’ll take seven burritos.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: A beautiful woman said hi to me at the store and I panicked and said Merry Christmas.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: Women remember something that happened five years ago. I can't remember why I stood up.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: A nice looking girl waved at me earlier today but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.