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Page of sparticus_af's best tweets

@sparticus_af : before meds: *hates everything*

after meds: *feels good about hating everything*

@Sparticus_af: waiter: *whispers* sir your card was declined

me: yeah *whispers* i don’t have any money

@Sparticus_af: My dad will drive six hours to avoid a three dollar ATM fee

@Sparticus_af: cop: do you know why i pulled you over

me: can you just shoot me please