@Spaziotwat

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I ask myself, “What would Jesus do?”, then I hide for three days in a cave

@Spaziotwat

Vowels were invented by old men trying to take their socks off

@Spaziotwat

Always proofread your tweets before hitting send. I now that know

@Spaziotwat

The first Roman soldier to be paid in salt: “Seems legit”

@Spaziotwat

I sign off with “kind regards” but secretly all my regarding is malicious

@Spaziotwat

I’ll never forget the day we met. That’s the great thing about police records

@Spaziotwat

“It’s a funeral”, they said. “Wear black”, they said. “Who’s the idiot dressed as Zorro?”, they said

@Spaziotwat

If we evolved from monkeys, how do you explain centaurs?