@Staggfilms

Never understood why people need bathrobes? Just take off your clothes and have a bath, then put on some clothes after the bath. Why the need for an intermediate garment? This is a moneymaking scam being propagated by Big Robe.

@Staggfilms

BREAKING NEWS: every movie & thing you like is delayed. There. Done.

@Staggfilms

*kermit plays slayer on his banjo. a marsh pit breaks out*

@Staggfilms

Do you think, in a pinch, Jim Henson ever used Kermit as an oven mitt?

@Staggfilms

I just wish the Oompa Loompas came prancing out and sang a song about each victim in the Saw movies.

@Staggfilms

Any 4 pics of Alan Rickman together looks like an amazing 80’s new wave band you wish existed

@Staggfilms

[confession booth]

ME: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes

PRIEST: wow I gotta hear this

ME: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn’t share

PRIEST: you forgot pride

ME: no, I’m pretty proud of this

@Staggfilms

FORENSIC SCIENTIST: The killer is a Chimpanzee.

COP: How can you be sure?

GWEN STEFANI: *looking up from microscope* This shit is bananas.