@SteveInevitable

If a girl texts you and asks if you think she’s fat and you try to respond “Nooo” autocorrect changes it to “Moo” so that’s pretty cool.

@SteveInevitable

While texting a girl she told me “I’m board” so I stopped seeing her. I wasn’t offended. I just don’t date wood. Or people who can’t spell.

@SteveInevitable

If I’m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet

@SteveInevitable

When I’m looking for a parking spot I turn the radio down because clearly I can see better when it’s quieter…