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@SteveKoehler22 : 62% of marriage conversation is just
spouses stating “I never said that.”
@SteveKoehler22: PETA wants us to stop using animal slogans
such as “bring home the bacon”
They’d have us say “bring home the bagels”
That suggestion has holes in it.
@SteveKoehler22: Just got myself some new
memory foam shoes.
Maybe now I’ll remember
why I walked in the room.
@SteveKoehler22: What a shocker.
I just ran my car through the car wash.
And it turns out the car is white.
@SteveKoehler22: Who named it "Viagra" .....
and not "Miracle Grow" ?
@SteveKoehler22: Pro tip : If you get a dog,
name him “Five Miles”
Then you can brag that you
walk Five Miles every day.
@SteveKoehler22: Canadian cattle can now legally
graze on cannabis plants.
The steaks have never been higher.
@SteveKoehler22: Just opened a collision repair
shop called “Auto Correct.”
@SteveKoehler22: My mother always cooked with wine
while I was growing up back home.
Occasionally she would even add
some to whatever she was cooking.
@SteveKoehler22: Costco ....
Because you never know when your
aquarium could explode ....
and you really need those 96 rolls
of paper towels.