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Page of SteveKoehler22's best tweets

@SteveKoehler22 : 62% of marriage conversation is just
spouses stating “I never said that.”

@SteveKoehler22: PETA wants us to stop using animal slogans
such as “bring home the bacon”

They’d have us say “bring home the bagels”

That suggestion has holes in it.

@SteveKoehler22: Just got myself some new
memory foam shoes.

Maybe now I’ll remember
why I walked in the room.

@SteveKoehler22: What a shocker.

I just ran my car through the car wash.
And it turns out the car is white.

@SteveKoehler22: Pro tip : If you get a dog,
name him “Five Miles”

Then you can brag that you
walk Five Miles every day.

@SteveKoehler22: Canadian cattle can now legally
graze on cannabis plants.

The steaks have never been higher.

@SteveKoehler22: Just opened a collision repair
shop called “Auto Correct.”

@SteveKoehler22: My mother always cooked with wine
while I was growing up back home.

Occasionally she would even add
some to whatever she was cooking.

@SteveKoehler22: Costco ....

Because you never know when your
aquarium could explode ....

and you really need those 96 rolls
of paper towels.