@SteveKoehler22

Costco ….

Because you never know when your
aquarium could explode ….

and you really need those 96 rolls
of paper towels.

@SteveKoehler22

Just saved a guy from drowning by
throwing him a CVS receipt as a lifeline.

He also gets 25% off his next rescue.

@SteveKoehler22

No Karen; a stable relationship is not
when you move in with the horses.

@SteveKoehler22

No Karen, you can’t return your
eclipse glasses tomorrow and
claim they “didn’t fit.”

@SteveKoehler22

My wife handed me a paring
knife to slice some peaches.

Apparently we don’t have
a peaching knife.

@SteveKoehler22

A surge of capital into the Canadian
marijuana industry has stocks soaring.

Marijuana stock prices have now
reached a new …um …high.

@SteveKoehler22

Painting safety tip :

When house painting from a ladder,
never step back to admire your work.

@SteveKoehler22

I got a haircut and grabbed some
shampoo at the checkout line.

Her : “Do you want a bag ?”
Me : “OMG…is the haircut that bad ?”
Her :

@SteveKoehler22

A video of a seal jumping in a boat
to escape killer whales went viral.

They were trying to orca-strate
a meal, but didn’t seal the deal.

@SteveKoehler22

I have a book to read on
overcoming procrastination.

I bought it in 2007.