@SteveSackington

I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.

@SteveSackington

If you say “cash money” around me,
Don’t act surprised when I kick you in the “balls nuts”

See how stupid that sounds?

@SteveSackington

For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to
‘Brandy from the club’
then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am.

#topahole

@SteveSackington

Look, all I’m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.

@SteveSackington

I’m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.

@SteveSackington

My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today.

He is survived by his wife Linda.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund.

@SteveSackington

If your mother in law and your father in law were both engulfed in flames, and you only had one fire extinguisher,

where would you hide it?