Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@StevieKnip : Son: I'm gay, dad.
Dad: no I'm gay dad
Dad #2: no I'm gay dad
@StevieKnip: What idiot called them dog tags instead of collar ID
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom]
Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex?
[every boy in the class checks their phone]
@StevieKnip: Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?
@StevieKnip: Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident
Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail
Me: let's take my car
@StevieKnip: *wakes up from 20 year coma*
SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI
@StevieKnip: Stop, Drop, and Roll: A Beginners Guide to Bowling
@StevieKnip: lawyer talking under his breath: "guiltypeoplesaywhat?"
lawyer: no further questions your honor
@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U!
U: who, me?
Cop: no the other 1!
1: who, me?
Cop: both of U!
W: who, us?
Cop: Yes you!
U: Who, me?
@StevieKnip: What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy