@StranDadAbroad

I accidentally sent my kids to Mimecraft camp and haven’t heard from them since.

@StranDadAbroad

Today I met a guy named Einstein and everything I said to him sounded like a sarcastic insult…

“Did you drive here, Einstein?”
“Another coffee, Einstein?”
“Watch your step, Einstein.”

@StranDadAbroad

Geologists are still pissed the phrase, “it’s not rock science” never caught on.

@StranDadAbroad

What happens when you get in a fight with your girl in the spice section?

Bae leaves.

@StranDadAbroad

Them: Would you be interested in coaching soccer?

Me: No, that sounds outside.