@StupiDucker

I ordered Chinese food last night. My fortune cookie said “LOL” and I’ve never agreed with one more.

@StupiDucker

*leaves work early and pulls in to seedy 4 hours stay motel on the highway. Looks around to make sure no one sees*

Me: This is going to be so great.

*sleeps for 4 hours*

@StupiDucker

So I climb a tree and scream and its an “issue” but cicadas do it and its a natural marvel. OK.

@StupiDucker

Me: So how old were you when you hacked your first person?

Friend: 6th grade

Me: Wow, you were good with computers early on in life.

Friend: Computers?

@StupiDucker

I want to run my fingers through your spaghetti.

Hair. I mean hair. Sorry, I’m starving.

@StupiDucker

Me: I’d never go to Australia. Everything there wants you dead.

Her: You should feel right at home then.

Me: 😐

@StupiDucker

I’ve finally had time to open the boxes in the basement. Well guess who is coming up smelling like vintage 80s English Leather.

@StupiDucker

Take caution while searching the annals of history.

The anals of history provide very different results.

@StupiDucker

I am glad that things are opening up again. Now when I get told to go play in traffic, there actually is traffic.

@StupiDucker

My dog is in a music video so needless to say he has accomplished more in life than I have.