Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of T_Bonezzz's best tweets

@T_Bonezzz : CREATION OF MAN

God: And as they age, they shall lose all the hair on their heads and grow more in their ears & noses

Angel: Yes, my Liege

@T_Bonezzz: SPELLING BEE

"Defiant"

Can I have the definition, please?

"No"

@T_Bonezzz: Been dating this new chick and some days i like her and some days i don't.

so i made her a mixed signal tape

@T_Bonezzz: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier

@T_Bonezzz: STEPS TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET

1) PUT SHEET ON BED

2) FOLD BED

@T_Bonezzz: Just one time I wanna see The Bachelor get a cold sore

@T_Bonezzz: Whoever spelled the word Receipt was a friggin idiopt

@T_Bonezzz: SURVIVAL TIP

If a gummy bear is chasing you, curl up like a ball and pretend you're stoned

@T_Bonezzz: "One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service"

- Abraham LinkedIn

@T_Bonezzz: *Hunts and Kills Winnie the Pooh

*Hunts and Kills Pepé Le Pew

*Cooks both in stew

*Serves Pooh Pew Platter