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@T_Bonezzz_ : With the passing of Hugh Hefner, we must now turn the page on an American icon.
*Pages stick together
@T_Bonezzz_: Coworker: I ran 5 miles at the gym this morning
@T_Bonezzz_: *Romantically carries pizza over threshold
@T_Bonezzz_: [ First Date ]
Her: OMG, I've been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself..
@T_Bonezzz_: Me: Waking up in the morning is so difficult
Bacon: Here, lemme help you with that
@T_Bonezzz_: I get it, rotisserie chicken.
I hate it when people stare at me too
@T_Bonezzz_: 5: Daddy, where do fish come from?
@T_Bonezzz_: Son: Dad, I'm gay. Do you still love me?
Me: Ask your mother
@T_Bonezzz_: I like to put a few lawnmowers in the back of my truck and follow landscapers all day just to make them nervous
@T_Bonezzz_: My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world.
So I'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave.