Funny Tweeter

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Page of T_Bonezzz_'s best tweets

@T_Bonezzz_ : *Takes drive down memory lane

*Gets a DUI

@T_Bonezzz_: [Movie: Romance]

Him: [*At Airline Ticketing Counter] I need to get on the next flight to NY to tell my soulmate I love her!

Airline Clerk: That'll be $4,433.56...

Him: K... forget it...

@T_Bonezzz_: “You’re beautiful on the inside.”

- Me, to a Twinkie

@T_Bonezzz_: Me: How bout we head over to my place?
Her: Nope
Me: I have a dog...
Her: Get in I'll drive

@T_Bonezzz_: [Gets Pulled Over]

Cop: Have u been drinking?
Me: No osiffer
C: What did u call me?
M: I mean orifice
C: ...
M: chair?
C: Get out

@T_Bonezzz_: With the passing of Hugh Hefner, we must now turn the page on an American icon.

*Pages stick together

@T_Bonezzz_: Coworker: I ran 5 miles at the gym this morning

Me: Why

@T_Bonezzz_: *Romantically carries pizza over threshold

@T_Bonezzz_: [ First Date ]

Her: OMG, I've been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself..

Me: HODOR...

@T_Bonezzz_: Me: Waking up in the morning is so difficult
Bacon: Here, lemme help you with that