Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@T_Bonezzz_ : 5: Daddy, where do fish come from?
@T_Bonezzz_: Son: Dad, I'm gay. Do you still love me?
Me: Ask your mother
@T_Bonezzz_: I like to put a few lawnmowers in the back of my truck and follow landscapers all day just to make them nervous
@T_Bonezzz_: My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world.
So I'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave.
@T_Bonezzz_: Her: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT!
Me: Well... at least I'm not all of the shit
@T_Bonezzz_: Waiter: What can I get for you?
Me: Steak, please.
W: How would you like that cooked?
M: By anyone other than my wife
@T_Bonezzz_: Her Parents: Tell us how u two love birds met
Me: We were in a tweet contest & was added to a DM room & then I gave her a fake trophy
@T_Bonezzz_: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Because my tires look like donuts?
Cop: Get out
@T_Bonezzz_: When I'm at a restaurant and see 'secret sauce' on the menu, I immediately tell the people at the table next to me
@T_Bonezzz_: Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... [ *Coughs up hairball* ]
Dog: You gonna eat that?
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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