@Talk_To_The_Hat

Who was the first taxidermist? Who was the first person to say “You know what? I’m into science AND interior decorating.”

@Talk_To_The_Hat

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me.

Luckily the injuries were only super fish oil.

#HatDadJoke

@Talk_To_The_Hat

Mean things I kind of want to do:

1) Call up a random person and say “It’s done. You just need to clean up the blood.” and hang up.

2) Walk up to a stranger and hand them a bag with random items (vaseline, a hose and socks) and say “You know what to do.”

@Talk_To_The_Hat

Paste is one of those weird things that only seem to exist until Kindergarten and then disappears forever.