Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TattleTSister's best tweets

@TattleTSister : Him: These candles are so romantic!

Me: They’re necessary for my human sacrifice ritual.

@TattleTSister: I love the smell of cut grass and the sound of unknown footsteps in my attic.

@TattleTSister: I hate when people do that thing in traffic that I also do.

@TattleTSister: "I don't need more than 4 hours of sleep" I say proudly while spooning dish washer detergent into my coffee.

@TattleTSister: My face is permanently frozen into this scowl. You were right, Grandma.

@TattleTSister: I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?

@TattleTSister: Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around.