@TedOfficialPage

Everybody is tweeting “OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH”, I’m like tf’ you you think came after February ? February Jr.?

@TedOfficialPage

What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ”Tim hurt one monkey… he feels bad.”

@TedOfficialPage

If Mitt Romney was president, we’d blame everything on him. “Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn’t this cold when Obama was president.”

@TedOfficialPage

Imagine this: you’re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers “Bless you” and hangs up