@TeeJayRush

Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I’ll immediately be alerted…

@TeeJayRush

It’s ‘before’ not ‘B4’…

We don’t speak Bingo here…

@TeejayRush

“Get in the van if you want to live.”

Creepy Terminator…

@TeeJayRush

Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse’s mistakes WILL shorten it…

@TeejayRush

Reasons to not go camping No.154:

People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world…

@TeejayRush

Guys who try to pick up women on Twitter are a bit sad…

Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it…

@TeejayRush

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces…

For example, I’m going to the liquor store and I’m scared that it may be closed…