@Ten_Toes_7

I think we’ve officially regressed back to medieval peasants. All we do is bake bread, revolt, and avoid plagues

@Ten_Toes_7

what if all high-voltage signs on doors are just a trick and there’s actually an extra woman’s bathroom inside…

@Ten_Toes_7

[Central Park]

Me: the squirrels have been busy collecting nuts for the winter

Also me: can someone help me get down from this tree

@Ten_Toes_7

Ok this TV character is expecting an important phone call from the kidnapper and they haven’t gotten once single spam call the whole time.
Must be nice.

@Ten_Toes_7

opening and closing my bank account like I do the fridge hoping things will improve

@Ten_Toes_7

Them: You’re too focused on revenge

Me: Oh yeah? We’ll see about that

@Ten_Toes_7

I really just spent $40 on a costume for my dog so I can win a work pet costume contest for a $10 coffee gift card.

Do I regret it? Nope. Karen from accounting and her cat are going down

@Ten_Toes_7

Fall is here! I can finally start burning my pumpkin cinnamon cupcake cranberry apple pie walk in the snow vanilla snickerdoodle flannel scented candle without feeling like a psychopath

RIGHT?

@Ten_Toes_7

You play the victim so well you probably have chalk in your pocket to outline your body