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@ThatBrenna : A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. "Here, I killed your friend. Hold him."
@ThatBrenna: I just spent an hour punching a brick wall. No coins came out and now my hand is broken. Video games lie to you.
@ThatBrenna: I lick all the grapes at the grocery store. It's romantic. Some stranger is going home with my kisses on their grapes.
@ThatBrenna: Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it's not.
@ThatBrenna: Bon Jovi is French for Good Jovi.
@ThatBrenna: I've been playing GTA for an hour and I still can't find the "exchange insurance information" button.
@ThatBrenna: People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive.
@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.
@ThatBrenna: If you lose a tooth in a bar fight and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will leave you $100 because you're hardcore.
@ThatBrenna: *takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient*
He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer.