All the good ones are taken.
All the funny ones are fat.
All the smart ones are ugly.
All the ones with all of the above are fictional.
I want to apologize for the awful true things I said when I was angry.
– Are you sure?
-defenet… difini… difine… YES IM SURE!
You sell yourself for retweets, you are a prostitweet.
Why is your ass split vertically?
Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you’re going down the stairs.