@TheAdly

All the good ones are taken.
All the funny ones are fat.
All the smart ones are ugly.

All the ones with all of the above are fictional.

@TheAdly

I want to apologize for the awful true things I said when I was angry.

@TheAdly

– Are you sure?

-defenet… difini… difine… YES IM SURE!

@TheAdly

You sell yourself for retweets, you are a prostitweet.

@TheAdly

Why is your ass split vertically?

Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you’re going down the stairs.