Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheBeerGuy73's best tweets

@TheBeerGuy73 : Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?


JK! Lolz

Ttyl KK



~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages

@TheBeerGuy73: *goes to the gym*

*takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see*

*hurries to the bar*

@TheBeerGuy73: Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law.

@TheBeerGuy73: Nice try, operating instructions. Nice try.

I've got this.

*grabs a hammer*

@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.

@TheBeerGuy73: My ex texted "You've got a friend in me. XoXo".

I thought she was being too nice until I realized that she was talking about my buddy Dave.