@TheBoydP

What do you mean a good old fashioned ribbing has nothing to do with this rack of baby backs?

@TheBoydP

My wife says she can breakdown cardboard packaging for the recycling bin better than I can. I think I will just let her have that one.

@TheBoydP

I think I’m getting close to the age where sales people, internet and telemarketers think they can take advantage of you.

I can’t wait.

@TheBoydP

I doubt my humanity the most when I’m trying to read those wavy, twisty scripts that are meant to verify you’re human.

@TheBoydP

All I’m saying is “curb side pickup” meant something different when I was growing up.

@TheBoydP

All I’m saying is adults don’t tiptoe nearly as much as Saturday morning cartoons led me to believe.

@TheBoydP

Marriage is like being on a reality TV show with both spouses thinking they will be the sympathetic character the audience identifies with.

@TheBoydP

Best things to pull:

9 Rank
8 Strings
7 The plug
6 The trigger
5 Your leg
4 Your head out
3 A fast one
2 Yourself together
1 My finger

@TheBoydP

Not to brag but I can keep up with the fast part of the chicken dance…

@TheBoydP

[Inventor of scented candles]

What if we made candles that could fill up a room with a lovely smell but made a disgusting smoke that would undo hours of scent when blown out?