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Page of TheBoydP's best tweets

@TheBoydP : All I'm saying is if the toilet still flushes when the power and gas goes out, why don't we run more things on toilet power?

@TheBoydP: Pro tip: Never explain to your wife that it's the washer and dryer that actually does the laundry.

@TheBoydP: After the floors are mopped no one is allowed to walk on them again... Ever

~Women

@TheBoydP: Seven Worst Crimes:

7. Theft
6. Over cooking a steak
5. Kidnapping
4. Assault
3. Buying cheap tequila
2. Murder
1. Inspirational tweeting

@TheBoydP: Purse Rules:

1. My wife agreed not to buy designer purses

2. I agreed it’s not a designer purse if I don’t know how much it costs

@TheBoydP: Whenever you eat something that tastes awful you should always say "that's disgusting" immediately followed by "here try it".

The Rules

@TheBoydP: When someone my age uses the word “harvest” there’s a 50/50 chance it’s a reference to either body parts or tomatoes.

@TheBoydP: It's like my Granddad used to say "Sarcasm is not a good thing to bring to a gun fight either."

@TheBoydP: Ever notice how drunken late night snacks are the most creative? Long story short, last night's Kung Pao Cheerios were rather tasty.