Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheBoydP's best tweets

@TheBoydP : I can make six sentences with just the names of my two sons.

Chase will chase Will.
Will will chase Chase.
Will Chase chase Will?
Chase will.
Will Will chase Chase?
Will will.

@TheBoydP: Thanksgiving fact: Giblets are just Grandma speak for the gross stuff.

@TheBoydP: Can’t, I’m in big trouble with the wife. I put chips and salsa out for family and friends and didn’t use a Thanksgiving dish.


We will we will drink you


*pours vodka after bad day*

@TheBoydP: I’m at the age I don’t remember it’s my birthday but my wife makes me feel better by reminding me I’m at the age I don’t remember anything.

@TheBoydP: I wanted to go see the Queen reunion concert but I am just a poor boy from a poor family...

@TheBoydP: My boss said our teamwork at work should be as good as our teamwork at home with our spouses and all I could think was what kind of crazy marriage does he have?

@TheBoydP: Bad is when you finish the dishes then see a few more things to wash. Worse is when your wife is there so you can't say you didn't see them.

@TheBoydP: I'm not saying she's a tease, I'm just saying she's like a weather forecast for a beautiful weekend on a Wednesday...

@TheBoydP: Relationship status: Getting dirty is always a reference to food stains.