@TheCareBare

she’s all “don’t sleep in the nude- what if there’s a fire and the fire men come and see you naked”

uh you pretty much described my fantasy

@TheCareBare

Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.

@TheCareBare

“Baby last night you were so hot, let’s do it all over again this morning.”

-me, speaking to this leftover pizza.