@TheClifBob

Friend: You’re wearing camo

Me:

Friend: Face paint too

Me:

Friend: Going hunting?

My brain: ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢⁿ’ᵗ ʷᵒʳᵏᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵉ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ˢᵉᵉ ᵐᵉ

@TheClifBob

2020 has really changed me, but not completely. For example, I haven’t showered in 3 days, but I still silently judge stinky people

@TheClifBob

Escape room, but it’s just me locking myself in the car again

@TheClifBob

Doors
– Designed to stop people
– Can be opened by people

@TheClifBob

I’ve been using my 4 year old as an alarm clock for the last month. Let me tell you, remarkably consistent.

@TheClifBob

I wore a mask to run errands today

Accidentally robbed a bank