@TheDairylandDon
Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: “Katherine Heigl movies.”
@TheDairylandDon
From a shark’s perspective, Jaws is a lot like Home Alone.
@TheDairylandDon
A magician begins pulling scarf after scarf after scarf out of his front tuxedo pocket until Steven Tyler slowly fades away from all photos.
@TheDairylandDon
If you wear a ship’s captain’s hat around, people will just do what you say. I run a Starbucks, a Target, a submarine, and two street gangs.
@TheDairylandDon
They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of “Bieber” every damn time