@TheDeadfishSays

Me: For who the bell tolls…
Teacher: You forgot the ‘M’.
Me:Oh…
Me:
Me: For who them bells toll…

@TheDeadfishSays

The most frustrating thing I’ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.

@TheDeadfishSays

“I don’t want to make a spectacle…”

Eye glass manufacturers last day on the job.

@TheDeadfishSays

I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.

@TheDeadfishSays

“Everything the light touches is ours,” I tell my son while opening the fridge.