@TheDeducers

I’m not waiting until I’m a ghost to tell people ‘get out of my house’ in a creepy voice

@TheDeducers

*Me ordering food, wearing a new white shirt*
I’ll have whatever is the most splattery and red

@TheDeducers

How many apples a day does it take to keep everybody else away

@TheDeducers

Tombstone: Here lies Houdini
2nd Tombstone: Now I’m over here

@TheDeducers

Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you’re usage