@TheIntComShow

Oh eggs, through yonder window break. For I am the olive oil, and Juliet is the vinegar. Salt to taste. Blend to desired thickness

– Romayo and Juliet

@TheIntComShow

What Swiss Army Knife attachment do I use to put those holes in cheese?

@TheIntComShow

Me: Can I please have a stack of Italian pancakes?

Wife: you know damn well it’s called lasagna

@TheIntComShow

If Tim Horton’s is actually Canadian shouldn’t it be Tim Hourtoun’s?

@TheIntComShow

The only gardening I’m interested in doing right now is Olive Gardening

@TheIntComShow

I’m gonna scream “AVENGE ME!!!” and then just die of natural causes

@TheIntComShow

I told my kids to sit Kriss Kross applesauce and now they’re jumping

@TheIntComShow

Reasons my wife gets mad at me:
1. Something something something
1. Some other stuff
1. I don’t pay attention when she talks

@TheIntComShow

Them: what’s your favorite foreign film?

Me: oh definitely Star Wars

Them: ……

Me: it took place in a galaxy far, far away

Me: it’s also my favorite historical film