Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of TheOnion's best tweets

@TheOnion : Area 8-Year-Old Formally Rescinds Hunger Complaint Following Mother’s Insulting Banana Offer

@TheOnion: New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App

@TheOnion: ‘Us Weekly’ Wins Pulitzer For Outstanding Achievement In Photoshopping A Rip Between Divorced Celebrity Couple

@TheOnion: ‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby

@TheOnion: To see more unmatched reporting, visit

@TheOnion: Step down to the next rung of our ever-lowering journalistic standards.

@TheOnion: Americans Celebrate 10 Millionth 'Bring Yourself To Work Day'