@TheSharona06

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!”
I scream to my dogs as they all watch me trip, run into the coffee table and spill my coffee all over myself.

@TheSharona06

When taking your dog to the vet it’s very important to remember to put your dog in the car.

@TheSharona06

I’m amazed they make so many cars without turn signals. Seems like that would be a requirement on a vehicle.

@TheSharona06

At the grocery store, buying 6 of the same item

Cashier: Are these good?

Me: No. I’m buying all of them just to save others from suffering

@TheSharona06

Sometimes I put my cat in the sunroom hoping the coyote who lives out back will charge at it and bounce off the glass.

@TheSharona06

Sent him a pic and he replied “BOOM!!” Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade.

@TheSharona06

That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C’mon boys, you know what to do.

– Birds, probably

@TheSharona06

Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis

@TheSharona06

My morning commute was hectic today. I tripped over a dog toy and almost spilled my coffee. I made it to the couch safely though.

@TheSharona06

Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit?

Me: Sure. But I guarantee you’ll win. I’m not that smart.

Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit?