Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@TheTweetOfGod : Only an idiot would stand outside in a hurricane just to go on camera and say that only an idiot would stand outside in a hurricane.
@TheTweetOfGod: The bad news: climate change threatens 1 in every 4 species with extinction.
The good news: you're one of them.
@TheTweetOfGod: Distant galaxies are speeding away from the Milky Way at an ever-accelerating velocity just to get the hell away from you.
@TheTweetOfGod: Never let the fear of failure keep you from failing.
@TheTweetOfGod: Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.
@TheTweetOfGod: White, black, brown, yellow, man, woman, transgender, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, young, old, ALL of you will taste the same to the zombies.
@TheTweetOfGod: Saving the planet will require sacrifice and right now I'm thinking you.
@TheTweetOfGod: Being wrong is most effective when done loudly.
@TheTweetOfGod: Happy birthday to William Shakespeare, who wrote good.
@TheTweetOfGod: I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.