An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please.
Justin Bieber’s career died for your sins.
The problem with rich people is you’re not one of them.
Traditional marriage was between a boy’s parents and a girl’s parents. And maybe some cattle.
I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken.
I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.
Instagramming daily selfies does not constitute personal growth.
What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we’re all white.
Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.
People keep asking Me why I created mosquitoes. To bite you repeatedly and give you malaria, that’s why.