Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TheTweetOfGod's best tweets

@TheTweetOfGod : The problem with rich people is you're not one of them.

@TheTweetOfGod: Traditional marriage was between a boy's parents and a girl's parents. And maybe some cattle.

@TheTweetOfGod: I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken.

@TheTweetOfGod: I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.

@TheTweetOfGod: Instagramming daily selfies does not constitute personal growth.

@TheTweetOfGod: What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white.

@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.

@TheTweetOfGod: People keep asking Me why I created mosquitoes. To bite you repeatedly and give you malaria, that's why.

@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.

@TheTweetOfGod: Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it.