Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TheTweetOfGod's best tweets

@TheTweetOfGod : St. Patrick's Day may just be an excuse to drink, but then again so is Ireland.

@TheTweetOfGod: Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards.

@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.

@TheTweetOfGod: North Korea shows that you don't need religion to be crazy.

@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.

@TheTweetOfGod: On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.

@TheTweetOfGod: It's weird for Me not having a Pope. I feel like Burns without Smithers.

@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.

@TheTweetOfGod: You can lead a horse to water but only if you grew up on a farm or something.