Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of TheTweetOfGod's best tweets

@TheTweetOfGod : "Lord, can I have a pony?" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it.

@TheTweetOfGod: Stuck in church. Everyone’s singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. Damn, My son has some stupid friends.

@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.

@TheTweetOfGod: Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence.

@TheTweetOfGod: Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you.

@TheTweetOfGod: Instagram is experiencing difficulties. Until further notice, please cease visually chronicling the tedious mundanities of your life.

@TheTweetOfGod: Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this.

@TheTweetOfGod: The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953.