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Page of TheWidowmakerX's best tweets

@TheWidowmakerX : It's with great sadness that I must say goodbye to you all!
My boyfriend and I argued over how much time I spend on here. He said I must choose between y'all or him. So, I'm gonna be offline for a couple minutes while I help him pack & call him an Uber ... I'll be right back

@TheWidowmakerX: "You have $400. Your boyfriend texts and says he needs $200 and your ex texts and says he needs $100. How much you have left?"

Me: $400 and 2 unread messages

@TheWidowmakerX: 'I'm so single that if I win a trip for two, I'm goin twice'

@TheWidowmakerX: I'm afraid I'm gonna need more alcohol to be in this relationship with me

@TheWidowmakerX: 'I choose my underwear based on how likely I am to have sex. Today, I'm wearing a used grocery bag I found floating across the highway'

@TheWidowmakerX: Him: Are you crazy crazy, Craigslist crazy, or institutionalize crazy?

Me: Yes