Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TigNotaro's best tweets

@TigNotaro : Blanket apology to everyone I’ve begged to go camping after two drinks. It was too intense and I do not own a tent.

@TigNotaro: Maybe Millennials aren't having children because we lived through the nightmare of raising Tamagotchis. :/

@TigNotaro: I can relate to blenders because I also scream while I'm doing my job.

@TigNotaro: tattoo artist: but what if they change prices?

me: just draw it

[later watching TV]

commercial: the taco bell 5 dollar box is now just 4 bucks!

me: motherf

@TigNotaro: {God inventing turtles}
What if a lizard had social anxiety?

@TigNotaro: I'd like to announce that in 2020 I'll be running for John Mayer.

Just gonna catch up and tackle him.