Hmmm, why don’t we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I’ll leave you alone for a few moments…
-me as a therapist
DON’T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK!
-and other things I hear from guys on first dates
A handsome man came up to me today & said “Hi what’s your name?”
I said “You on Twitter?” He said “No”
We’re getting married on Monday!