@TomE83_

I’ll love you until the end of the egg timer.

@TomE83_

Them: Describe your personality using one word.

Me: no

@TomE83_

You give me something. It’s mainly indigestion and the creeps but that’s something.

@TomE83_

Her: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.

Me: Okay. When will that be?

Her: Oh, I don’t drink coffee.

@TomE83_

Hey girl, Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.