Friends with my exes? I’m barely friends with my friends.
I’ll love you until the end of the egg timer.
Them: Describe your personality using one word.
Me: no
You give me something. It’s mainly indigestion and the creeps but that’s something.
Her: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.
Me: Okay. When will that be?
Her: Oh, I don’t drink coffee.
Hey girl, Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.