okay just dont let her know you’re a trump supporter
Her: so what kinda wine should I get
Me: haha white is always the best
Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but-
Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what
[Dad jokes anonymous]
“…and I’m clean 30 days”
Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I’M DAD
“DAMN IT, JERRY!”
“Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil’s avocado sometimes”
Teacher: devil’s advocate?
Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no.