Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face.
“Sensitive” guys who only retweet chicks, you’re not fooling anyone.
Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
I’m a failure as a sociopath. I’m just not very good at manipulating and taking advantage of people. I’m more of a so-sopath.
If you say “no ifs, ands, or buts”, then get ready for a shitload of “shoulds”, “as well as”, and “howevers”.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
No one is born racist. Racism is taught. By other races.
So lemme get this straight. Han Solo can understand Chewbacca just fine but at age 900, basic English grammar still goes over Yoda’s head.
“Paypal me your lunch money!” -Cyber Bullies
The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun.