@TravLeBlanc

Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face.

@TravLeBlanc

“Sensitive” guys who only retweet chicks, you’re not fooling anyone.

@TravLeBlanc

Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?

@TravLeBlanc

I’m a failure as a sociopath. I’m just not very good at manipulating and taking advantage of people. I’m more of a so-sopath.

@TravLeBlanc

If you say “no ifs, ands, or buts”, then get ready for a shitload of “shoulds”, “as well as”, and “howevers”.

@TravLeBlanc

Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.

@TravLeBlanc

So lemme get this straight. Han Solo can understand Chewbacca just fine but at age 900, basic English grammar still goes over Yoda’s head.

@TravLeBlanc

The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun.