@TuSoonShakur: CRUELLA DE VIL: you’re just giving away all of these coats for free?
SHELTER CLERK: yeah we call them rescues though
@TuSoonShakur: Bad comedy:
"Gonorrhea, but not forgottenorrhea. Am I right?"
"Jeez, y'all sure know how to avoid the clap. Am I right folks?"
@TuSoonShakur: Whenever I make a list of chores I always add one or two tasks that I have already accomplished so that I can experience the immediate satisfaction of crossing them off.
@TuSoonShakur: RAPUNZEL: oh no I'm out of hair
JOHNNY DEPP: *unraveling scarves* I got this
@TuSoonShakur: Based on a survey of yard signs in my neighborhood, it appears “Drive Like Your Kids Live Here” has a slight lead over both the Democratic and Republican candidates.
@TuSoonShakur: [simba and nala sit atop pride rock staring at a beautiful sunset]
simba: *pulls engagement ring from his hip pocket* circle of wife amirite!
nala: where’d you get a hip pocket?