@TuckerFly1

Mouthwash is too spicy!
*waters it down with Mayonnaise*

@TuckerFly1

For the past 3 years I’ve been playing this hilarious game where I steal pajamas from women I sleep with. So far I’ve acquired a total of 0 pajamas.

@TuckerFly1

Someone forgot to pay the earths yearly subscription fee for “being ok” after the free trial ended.