@Turn2Dude

Started lifting weights in 2010 when I did my first set of 10 bicep curls. Supposed to take breaks between sets so maybe sometime I’ll get around to the second set.

@Turn2Dude

Never understood the concept of the gift card. For the same 50 bucks you could’ve just give me 50 bucks.

@Turn2Dude

“Can I get a refund if it grows back” is never funny to a Barber, but I say it anyway.

@Turn2Dude

Me and my dog accidentally butted heads. We’re both fine, but I’m concerned about my wife. She keeps asking me who the President is and I correctly tell her every time Ronald Reagan.

@Turn2Dude

Never heard of the diseases mani and pedi, but she says she needs a cure for them.

@Turn2Dude

Need to bring up task manager so I can shut Monday down and then restart.

@Turn2Dude

My life has been so screwed up when there was supposed to be a fork in the road I found a spoon.

@Turn2Dude

Start letting police dip their finger in the drugs and have a taste like in the movies. Recruiting problems solved.

@Turn2Dude

Would like to be a man who dies with his boots on, but knowing my luck it will be a day I chose to wear socks with a pair of Crocs and my friends will have fun with that.

@Turn2Dude

Eating Doritos is fun, but there’s always that one that gets in your mouth and decides it’s not gonna die without putting up a fight, so it stands up and pokes you in the gums.