Started lifting weights in 2010 when I did my first set of 10 bicep curls. Supposed to take breaks between sets so maybe sometime I’ll get around to the second set.
Never understood the concept of the gift card. For the same 50 bucks you could’ve just give me 50 bucks.
“Can I get a refund if it grows back” is never funny to a Barber, but I say it anyway.
Me and my dog accidentally butted heads. We’re both fine, but I’m concerned about my wife. She keeps asking me who the President is and I correctly tell her every time Ronald Reagan.
Never heard of the diseases mani and pedi, but she says she needs a cure for them.
Need to bring up task manager so I can shut Monday down and then restart.
My life has been so screwed up when there was supposed to be a fork in the road I found a spoon.
Start letting police dip their finger in the drugs and have a taste like in the movies. Recruiting problems solved.
Would like to be a man who dies with his boots on, but knowing my luck it will be a day I chose to wear socks with a pair of Crocs and my friends will have fun with that.
Eating Doritos is fun, but there’s always that one that gets in your mouth and decides it’s not gonna die without putting up a fight, so it stands up and pokes you in the gums.