Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us

Page of TweetingDadGuy's best tweets

@TweetingDadGuy : Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.

@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.

@TweetingDadGuy: Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point.

@TweetingDadGuy: Live tweeting from Sunday Mass!

We're sitting.

Now standing.

Sitting.

Sorry, should've been kneeling.

Shit, that was embarrassing.

@TweetingDadGuy: Please women who wear 1 inch heels.

What's the point? You look ridiculous.

What difference does 1 inch really make?

Don't answer that.

@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.