@TweetsByKaylee: me, disguised as a lamb: *into earpiece* target is headed to school
spy hq: none suspect you, right?
spy hq: keep her in sight
teacher: mary, does your lamb follow you everywhere you go?
me: i've been made
spy hq: abort mission! ABORT!! ABORT!!!
@TweetsByKaylee: cat: *plays fiddle*
cow: *jumps over moon*
dishes: *run away*
farmer: *sets down bong*
@TweetsByKaylee: writer: you know how cats chase mice?
writer: this one has a twist
producer: *leaning back* go on
writer: the mouse outsmarts the cat
producer: *slamming hands on desk* preposterous!
writer: i call it tom & jerry
producer: *wiping tears* those are my names
@TweetsByKaylee: mom: why didn't you answer your phone?
me: i was driving
mom: where are you now?
me: walking the dog
mom: you need better excuses
me: it's the truth
mom: then put the dog on
me: he’s uh driving
@TweetsByKaylee: mike wazowski: *rubs lamp*
genie: *emerging* what's your first wish?
mike wazowski: i want revenge on pixar for giving me one eye
genie: *looks at the lamp*
lamp: *jumps on the pixar's i*
genie: i for an eye :)
@TweetsByKaylee: batman: who do I see about this ticket?
cop: oh, I wrote it
batman: who tickets the batmobile!?
cop: you were illegally parked
batman: I was fighting crime!
cop: rules are rules
batman: I WAS DOING YOUR JOB!!!!
cop: did you see I wrote "I'm sorry" with a little heart?
@TweetsByKaylee: [during prison riot]
cellmates: we're busting out. you coming?
me: *shakes magic 8 ball*
magic 8 ball: ask again later
me: shoot hang on
@TweetsByKaylee: [church fundraiser]
me: *takes out a $100*
priest: *eyes wide* bless you my child
me: aww thank you! do you have $99.50 in change?
@TweetsByKaylee: [god creating sharks]
angel: what is this?
god: *wearing ‘live every week like it’s shark week’ shirt* I just want this to make sense